Life is a Series of Stages

By Rhona Raskin

The first time you realized that a stage of life had left you in the sawdust might have been the time you didn’t make the all-star kindergarten junior soccer team. Or how about when the National Ballet School officials trolled your second-grade dance class for divas and let you know they wouldn’t be back for you in grade three—or ever? And so began the long series of life’s little expiration dates.

Several passages leave greasy pencil marks on your life’s scorecard. Some are merely annoyances; others are proof that you are not now nor ever will you be special enough to be included in certain talented subsets. Your chance of becoming a musical genius, for example, disappears by age 10. Oh yes, there’s still time to be a proficient musical accompanist, or a technician, or to strum a guitar at family gatherings and impress the less musical. But the Majestic Mozart Award will go to someone else.

But hey, there’s still time to train for a marathon, and you can build a kayak anytime you fancy. Ditto for learning a language or traveling. In fact, there’s no statute of limitations on lots of life’s better offerings.

The few areas that are roped off give some people the biggest grief. Few people really believe that motherhood is a great idea at 67. Nor is there much of a payoff to putting off stretching and exercising until gravity does you in. Today is the day to write down what you really want to accomplish before they cart you away. Here are some entries for consideration:

• Am I going to fling myself into a career? If I do, will I be able to hit the pause button long enough to explore family-making possibilities, if that’s in my anticipatory future?

• Will I live alone for part of my life to find out who I am? And will I do that before or after I weld myself to another human for an ever-after of eternal romance and sharing Teflon pots?

• Do I want to live farther than 27 feet from my birthplace/parents/friends/university? When will I do this? Have I gathered the brochures on vaccines and visas necessary for a hike to New Guinea?

• How important is it that I achieve my personal bests? Do I need to finish the 12K run in under two hours?

Life is like a piñata—you know there’s good stuff in there, but it sure takes a lot of motivation and a stick to break through. But don’t be afraid to bend over and reach out for what you want. As Oscar Wilde once said, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”