Confessions of North Valley Moms

Kristin

Local mommies dish about their secret feelings about motherhood––and it’s not all cuddles and kisses.

 

By Kristin Caliendo

Motherhood can be so many things. Motherhood is messy. Motherhood is loud. Motherhood is amazing! At the end of the day, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, a ray of hope, a silver lining. So hang in there and try not to take yourself too seriously. Here are some lighthearted, genuine confessions from some not-so-perfect North Valley moms.

I hide candy bars in the bathroom. Sometimes, I just need to get away from the kids, lock myself in the bathroom, and binge on chocolate.––Julia B.

I chose not to give up my career (and the income). I spend more time at the office than at home. Some days, I feel like I don’t even know my kids.––Alyssa G.

I dread reading books to my kids at bedtime. I am so exhausted by the end of the day, I’d rather just plop them down in front of the TV.––Christine S.

My toddler throws the biggest fit over brushing his teeth. Sometimes, I just give in. They’re going to fall out eventually, right?––Brandy B.

I am envious of the moms at preschool who drop their kid off and go to work. They look so put together, with nice clothes, hair, and makeup. I look down at my outfit covered in spit-up and other unidentifiable fluids and can’t remember the last time I shaved my legs.––Kelly R.

I swore I would never buy my kids an Xbox––then summer came, and I gave in. I did it for my own sanity. It keeps the kids and my husband out of my hair.––Kay C.

I love the feeling I get when I finally drop my last child off to school in the morning. Even if it’s just a 20-minute drive to work, it’s the only time I get to feel free during the entire day.––Stacey E.

I blamed the babysitter for eating all the ice cream, when in actuality I ate the whole pint. ––Heather M.

I can’t believe I went to college and now I am home playing Go Fish for the gazillionth time. I feel like I’ve put my goals on the back burner.––Trish C.

Does the pool count as showering?––Mia L. (emphasize)

When I was first potty-training my son, we were out shopping (as us moms like to do) and my son desperately had to go pee while I was in the fitting room. The closest bathroom was half a block away, so I had him pee into a shopping bag, tied it up, and later threw it away.––Samantha R.

I got fed up wasting my time and money trying to get my kids to eat healthy. I’m tired of arguing with my boys. I buy a huge bag of chicken nuggets at the grocery store, and that’s what they eat.––Marissa G.

I lied to my husband about being sick so that he would have to take care of the baby all day.––Taryn S.

I check my kids into the child care at the gym while I sit in the café and catch up on Facebook. I haven’t worked out since my second baby was born.––Sarah W. (emphasize)

I wanted to be like the other moms in my moms group who made all their own baby food. I hate cooking and am not very good at it. For play dates, I would scoop store-bought baby food into containers and say I made it.––Christine M.

I tell my husband that I started my period so that I don’t have to have sex.––Traci A.

 

The pressure we put on ourselves is intense. We’ve all been there. Here’s how mommy guilt affects North Valley moms.

I feel guilty…

  • about doing my kid’s homework rather than explaining it.
  • packing Lunchables in my kids’ lunchboxes.
  • about how often I use the babysitter.
  • letting my daughter watch Days of Our Lives.
  • spending enough time with each child when a new sibling comes along.
  • throwing away a birthday party invitation because I don’t like the kid’s mom.

 

 

Judge Less, Empower More

I hate to say it, but mothers do judge one another. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking it. I don’t know a single mother who doesn’t think her way is the right way. We are in fact human, so it’s natural to feel the urge to analyze others’ parenting styles. It’s clichéd to say, but until you have walked in another’s shoes, you can’t truly understand or appreciate their parenting decisions. As mothers, we need more compassion and less judgment.

Choose your friends wisely. If you think someone is gossipy and shallow, respectfully decline their invitations and hold out for a friend who will be honest and trustworthy.

 

 

Your husband can’t read your mind

In a world of equal parenting, working mothers, and co-parenting, dads do more than bring home the bacon. They change diapers. They wipe snotty noses. They fold laundry. Just as us moms feel overwhelmed, parenting is not easy for them either.

Dads often get a bad rap. We are constantly telling them that they are doing things wrong. I totally went off on my husband one time when he packed the kids’ lunches because he didn’t meet all four food groups! Bad, I know.

Speaking from experience, stop expecting him to do it your way and let him do it his way. Micromanaging your husband can lead to much deeper problems. Husbands want to feel needed and appreciated, not scolded. Show him that you support him by focusing on his efforts, not just the results. I always say that as long as the kids are happy and safe, he’s doing a fine job!

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