The Other Side of Valentine’s Day

You’ve been daydreaming about the little glitzy heart necklaces in the Valentine’s Day commercials when you’re suddenly blindsided by the infamous “We have to talk” speech from your significant other. Those four little words strike fear into anyone who’s hopeful about the future of a relationship.

November and December are the least likely months for breakups—who wants to be alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas? But with the busy holiday festivities, it may be easy to overlook the fact that your relationship is at an impasse. But just because January has been designated “National Break-up Month” and you’re both still walking hand in hand on February 1 doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been any thinking going on in the head of your significant other. Here’s hoping that you didn’t feel the pain of Cupid pulling the arrow out of your beloved’s heart (yes, it hurts you more than it hurts him or her).

For some people, breaking up may be part of a News Year’s resolution, along with losing weight, getting a better job, or finding true love. Some men break up with their women early in the year because they hate the weight women put on Valentine’s Day, so the weeks leading up to it present an opportune time for men to leave a lukewarm relationship to avoid the expense of flowers, jewelry, or an expensive dinner. Watch your man’s reaction when those TV commercials come on—most guys find them manipulative.

How do you know if your sweetheart wants to hit the road? Check out the following four telltale signs that you might be heading for a breakup.

1. Sexual behavior changes. A dramatic change in sexual behavior usually means that your beloved is trying to avoid intimate contact with you (usually because he or she wants it but not from you or is getting it somewhere else).

2. Emotional distance. Ridiculous fights usually mean someone is trying to get you to make the first move to end the relationship. If you don’t pick up on the cue right away, then you will usually hear “I need some space,” which translates as “I think we should see other people” (and usually, he or she already is).

3. Cell phone obsession. This is the kiss of death when it comes to relationships. If your sweetie ducks out to the patio to take a call, puts a security code on the phone, keeps it on his or her person all the time rather than on the usual countertop, or worse yet, gets a second phone, brace yourself for the impending breakup. Your lover may say that the new device is for work, but it usually means he or she is starting a new life without you.

4. Complete makeover. A person who is entertaining the thought of leaving or cheating will do a complete makeover. They will get down to date weight, do a wardrobe overhaul, and change colognes. So beware of any radical changes in your significant other, such as new clothes, hairstyles, and workout routine.

If your relationship makes it through Valentine’s Day, chances are in your favor for having a successful long-term relationship. If it doesn’t, realize that you have lots of company, which ultimately means lots of new opportunities. Lose those ten pounds you complain about and update your online profile as well as your hair and wardrobe. Who knows? You could only be one click away from new, true love!