Defending the Caveman

By Ben Miles

Written over a three-year period (between 1988 and 1991), Rob Becker’s Defending the Caveman wormed its way across the nation and in March of 1995 made it to the Big Apple. On July 17, 1996, after 399 performances on The Great White Way, Caveman surpassed Lilly Tomlin’s Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe to become the longest-running solo show in Broadway history. In honor of this dramatic benchmark, Mayor Rudolph Giuliani designated July 18, 1996 as Caveman Day in New York City.

Though Becker is the performer most associated with this well-studied monologue—Becker explored the disciplines of anthropology, psychology, sociology, and mythology in preparing this performance piece—the show has played in 30 countries and has been translated into 15 languages, requiring actors of various nationalities and linguistic orientations to take on the role of The Caveman. Nevertheless, cavemen will be cavemen, regardless of culture, creed, tongue, time, or place—and that’s the point of Becker’s conceit.

Defending the Caveman has now found a hospitable permanent home at Las Vegas’s Golden Nugget hotel. With former circus clown and stand-up comedian Kevin Burke as our stout Caveman host, we plunge into the gene pool to have a swimmingly pleasant encounter with gender distinctions.

Burke, making Becker’s words his own, illustrates that from time immemorial, women have been the gatherers and men have been the hunters. Applying those ancient impulses to today’s society, Burke the Caveman informs us that for women, shopping is the new gathering. Men, however, sublimate their hunting instinct into various activities, including aiming the remote control device like a dart gun at the television to hunt down programming. Men and women are each, according to Caveman Burke, specifically modeled for their respective hunting and gathering tasks. Caveman’s contention is supported with videotaped evidence of incidents and episodes that contrasts Burke’s real-life wife’s behavior with his own manly man displays. Clearly, his lady is all about sharing and nesting. He, by juxtaposition, is single-minded and, frankly, base in behavior. One screened image has our Caveman on the commode, reading the newspaper with the bathroom door open. Of course, Caveman isn’t shy in alerting us to the fact that physically, the female’s body encompasses and contains, while physiologically, the male replicates and is anatomically analogous to the hunter’s spear. The form is suited to the function, advises our primordial chronicler.

With regard to communication, Caveman humorously asserts that gender divisions remain utterly distinct to the present day. While the feminine among us are more focused on cooperation, the roughly half of us who are of the masculine persuasion are more concerned with negotiating our place in the world. Caveman observes that at a meeting of females, if the potato chip plate and dipping bowl are at low ebb, the gals work together to replenish the drinks and treat trays. In contrast, the males will do some verbal fencing to justify why they’re not obligated to refill the bowl. One might comment, for instance, “I brought the chips,” while another would claim credit for bringing the beer. After a brief go-around, the hierarchy becomes apparent, and the man at the bottom of the prestige pole is the one assigned the resnacking tasks. Another intriguing communication factoid offered by Caveman for our consideration is that on average, women use 7,000 words in a day and men utter only 2,000. Yet 90 percent of what’s said isn’t verbal. Rather, it’s the language of the body—eye contact, touch, facial expression, and gestures.

Defending the Caveman is a fabulous foray into the battle of the sexes. Its humorous take on the male/female divide serves as a bridge of understanding and appreciation. Maybe that’s why thousands of psychologists, therapists, and counselors have endorsed the show.

Defending The Caveman plays nightly at 8 p.m., with matinees at 3 p.m., on Saturdays and Sundays. The Golden Nugget is located at 129 Fremont St., Las Vegas, NV, 89101. For reservations, dial (866) 946-5336. To book online, visit onlineseats.com/defending-the-caveman-tickets/index.asp.